Yes, I have been labeling my posts based on the amount of time since Kody passed away. Maybe that will change in the future. For now, I still feel like I am just trying to make it through each day without breaking down. Until I can get to that point, making it through a whole week is an accomplishment. It has been week filled with changes, most of those were actually positive ones though. I have been really struggling to count my blessings recently. It has been nice to be able to add to my blessings list. I still feel like I need some really big positive thing to happen to get me out of this depressive funk that I have been in. Maybe something like that is still coming down the road...
As most people know, my dishwasher broke pretty much the first week I got back. I called the manager of my apartment complex and he put it a maintenance request. A week and a half later, still no one had been by to even look at my dishwasher. I finally broke down and called for an update. The next day, while I was at work, someone came in to look at it (AFTER I called). They left a note saying that they needed to order parts and not to use it until then. Fine. I continued to hand-wash my dishes. By last Sunday it had been over three weeks since I had a working dishwasher. I hadn't heard anything about the new parts.
On Sunday afternoon I decided to call again and find out what was going on. The next day, while I was at work, someone came and fixed the dishwasher and left a note saying to call after I used it and let them know if it was leaking or not. Again, this happened AFTER I called. To me, this says that they had everything that they needed to fix it for a while and would not have shown up if I hadn't called. That is a little frustrating. I try to be a low-maintenance tenant. I never complain and I can fix most things myself. I guess if I take that approach nothing will ever get fixed. At least it is fixed now. So whatever.
During this whole dishwasher mess, my vacuum also broke. Actually, I was having trouble the day before I left for California for the summer. I just figured it was the belt, so I figured I would put on a new one when I got back. I put the new belt on last week. The second I turned on the vacuum, the belt broke again. This happened with another belt right after. I even took the time to clean every bit of gross stuff out of the vacuum and off of the roller. The belts kept breaking. I opened the vacuum to see if I could figure out what happened. The belt looked like it had been melted. There were bits of melted rubber all over the vacuum. It smelled wonderful, by the way. It turns out that the little part that you put the belt on so it can turn with the motor was getting overheated. I don't know if there was supposed to be some sort of protective cover on it, but I didn't have one. In frustration, I headed to Walmart for a new vacuum.
As soon as I got into Walmart, the rain started. It was a huge storm. I could hear the rain pounding on the roof. It turns out that when rain falls onto the roof of Walmart, it echos throughout the whole store. I could feel the store shake ever time thunder clapped. It was a little scary. I could hear kids telling their parents that they were scared. I quickly found the vacuum that I wanted and started to pick up a few other groceries. While I was shopping, the lights blink out and then came back on about a second or two later. This happened two more times. I tried to hurry so that I would be stuck if the power went out. I think that Walmart would be really creepy completely dark.
It turns out, I didn't have to rush. Not because the power went it, because it didn't. No, it turns out that the few times that the power had blinked off and on had taken out Walmart's computer system. I was near the front of the checkout line, but I was stuck there. No one would check out because the whole system was down. I was stuck waiting in that line for forty minutes. I passed the time by chatting with the cashiers and the customers next to me. They were all in the same boat that I was in. I didn't want to give up and go home. I really needed groceries and I needed the vacuum even more. I hadn't vacuumed my apartment in three weeks. So, I waited. Finally, the system came back on. I went home and vacuumed. The new vacuum works okay. It has really good suction, but that makes it sort of hard to push. It is also a little short, so I feel like I have to bend down a bit. It is a good thing that I have a small apartment! My Swiffer is also broken (the handle cracked). I taped it up and will look for a more permanent solution in the future. It works well enough for now, and I can't afford a new one.
My finances have been weighing heavy on my mind lately. The always have, but it has recently become an even bigger concern. The beginning of the school year always causes me to take a big hit. There is a lot to buy during that start up time. I do get reimbursed for a lot of it (although I still don't know how much I can spend yet--last year it was up to $250). Anything that I get reimbursed for has to be left with the school district, if I ever leave. I can't turn in receipts until we find out how much money we get. That might not happen until November. Until then, I just have to count my pennies carefully.
I can always count on a few other expensive things at the same time. I have been gone all summer, so my first shopping trip is always massive and pricey. My car registration is due, so there is another couple hundred (although it didn't have to be inspected this year--so that saved me some money). I am usually trying to get plane tickets for Christmas at this time and if I wait too long, the tickets get really expensive. The other thing I can count on is my rent going up a little. I was told it would got up $10 a month every year. This year it went up $50 a month. I had been getting a slight discount because I was a teacher. I guess corporate decided that they needed every bit of rent they could get out of everyone. If I had known sooner, I would have looked for another place to live. However, it was too late and I was stuck.
I have a budget that I try to stick to. It is an Excel program on my computer. I was watching the small savings that I have get smaller and smaller as I entered the new numbers. I made a very grownup decision. I broke down and used my credit card for the first time in my life. "I can afford these things and nothing else." "I will make it, but it will be close." Those are the thoughts that I had before I broke down and used the card. They were sort of true. I can afford those things, but not all at the same time! I needed the card to help me spread out the payments a little. In the end, I am hoping that I won't have to pay too much in interest. My bank wants me to make a minimum payment of $15 a month. I plan on paying way more than that. I hate having debt. I used the card to pay my car registration and the plane tickets. Some of you are asking, if you are that broke can you really afford to fly home. Not really, but I HAVE to.
I know myself. I WILL NOT make it here if I know that I can't go home. I am already prone to being homesick. I learned that my first year at college. Trying to live in a state that I don't really want to be in, where I don't know a ton of people is really hard. I need to be able to go home. I was already counting down the days until I could go home. I started counting the day my family dropped me off after vacation. After Kody died, my desire to home has grown so much that it is almost overwhelming. I can make it through the day, but I break down and cry every night. Part of it is tears over Kody. But the other part is a feeling that I don't want to be here anymore. Something needs to change. Either I will try to find that elusive job in CA or I will try for a better paying district. Until then, the only way I will make it through the school year is by going home whenever I can. I will drive at Thanksgiving because the roads will be better. I can't drive at Christmas because the first, and only, time that I tried that I got stuck in a blizzard that almost scared me to death. I will never make that drive at Christmas again.
I did make a few decisions, and got some news, this week that will help me a little this year. Maybe I will even be able to pay off the credit card sooner. My friend, Shannon, sent me an email about the ALPS program in our district. This is like an advance placement program. They needed people to help proctor the tests in November. We would get paid about $20/hour. In total, it would add up to about 8 1/2 hours of work. I signed up, and was accepted as a proctor, and forwarded the email to a friend of mine, another teacher at the school, that knew was also struggling. She was also accepted. Then, our principal sent out an email informing us that our school needed another representative for a district art (DART) program.
The rep would go to about seven meetings over the course of the school year and find out how to integrate arts into the classroom. We would be paid the same in-service rate of $20/hour. Each meeting is about two hours long. So, that will be about 14 hours of work by the end of the school year. It is not a ton, but every bit helps and can make a difference. So, I signed up for that as well and have my first meeting next week. I also, usually, sign up to judge the science fair, but that won't be until near the end of the school year. Until then, I plan of taking advantage of every opportunity that I can find.
The last bit of news that I have, it looks like our district and the union have reached a tentative agreement. As some of you know, our pay has been frozen for the last few years. According to the posted salary schedule, I should be making a third year teachers salary. At the beginning of this year, I will still be paid the same salary as a first year teacher. It has been really hard not having any pay increases. Cost of living keeps going up and my bills are always going up. It is hard to make it. I figured that I could struggle for a year and then things would get a little better. Not the case. Instead, things just got more and more difficult. I don't know when the new agreement will start. We need to take a vote on it, as a union. So it probably won't start until our October paychecks. The agreement basically says that we will get steps and lanes this year (but no cost of living increase), but they will only give it to us next year if the legislature gives them money specifically for teacher salary (which has never happened before). Basically, it means that we get a pay increase this year but not next year. I will now be a third year teacher, but I will be paid a second year teacher's salary (we can only move one step at a time). The good news is that the pay will be retroactive to July 1st. So, I should have one pretty good check that has some back-pay included in it.
So, that is all of my news. Things will get a little better; I just have to wait for a little bit before they do. I hope the rest of you are finding life a little easier. If you aren't, then you are in my prayers. Take care!
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