Quite a few things have changed since my last post.  For those of you who follow me on Facebook, you are already aware of most of these changes.  I officially made the decision to move back to California.  The district that I currently work for offers a monetary incentive for teachers who give a written notice of resignation before March 1.  I knew that I would want any funds that I could get, so I needed to make a decision fairly soon.  I sent in my notice two weeks ago and, a few days ago, I received verification that human resources had received my paperwork.  There is no going back now.

I still do not have employment in California.  I look every day.  If I am being honest, I look a few times every day.  I have contacted every district, private school, charter school, and principal in the area.  I have heard back from a lot of them.  Unfortunately, they have all said the same thing.  They anticipate that they will actually being hiring a few teachers this year, but nothing will be posted until May or June.  So, I just have to wait.  One principal did say that he admired my initiative and drive and that is the type of attitude that they looked for in his district.  I am just hoping that when jobs are posted I am email a few of these people and say something like, "Hey, remember me?  I just applied for one of your jobs!"  Everyone keep praying that something, the right thing, happens for me really soon!

The current plan is this:  My school year ends of June 5th.  I will have packed up as much of my classroom and apartment before that date comes.  That weekend, June 7th-8th, my Dad will drive up with the quad-trailer and we will load up my stuff.  We will drive back to California and put my stuff in storage.  Hopefully, it doesn't have to stay there too long and I can move it into my own place.  Otherwise, I will take a few things to my parents house and keep looking and work as a sub until I can find something.  We will see how it goes.  I feel slightly pathetic.  I will be thirty and living with my parents again.  Oh, and I won't have a "real" job.  I guess life happens.  I still feel like this is the right decision.  I don't know what will happen, but something good has to come out of this.

In other news, Jack (our new puppy) has really gotten comfortable with the family.  They basically describe him as crazy.  All he wants to do is play.  They are all exhausted, but I can't wait to be home so I can bond with him some more, or again...  I sort of feel like I am missing everything.  I find out everything after it is already passed.  Then they say, "Didn't we tell you about that?"  Nope, you didn't.  Anyways, I guess I will be home soon and can have some time play catch up.

This is Jack in the back yard in California.

In other news, my sister is getting married!  They made it official last night.  His name is Andrew and they will be getting married on June 29.  She has actually know him since high school, but they have been friends for just over a year, I think.  They have been dating since September.  I have only really spoken to him a few times, while I was home over the holidays and while talking to my family over Skype.  He seems nice, and he makes my sister happy.  I guess I will have to really get to know him when I move back.  He and my sister will living with my family while she goes through her nursing program.  

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This summer, and home in general, will be an adjustment to say the least.  I just hope that it all works out for the best.  I have told most of my co-workers about my decision and they have all been very supportive and understanding.  A few of my old students also know, so we will see how fast it gets around the school.  I am still trying to figure out how to tell my class this year.  I want to tell them before they hear it from someone else.  I also want to give them time to adjust.  They keeping talking about how they are going to visit all the time next year.  I know that they mean it, because I have a handful of students from last year and the year before that still stop by after school.  I would feel bad if someone else told them.  I think that I might do it after parent-teacher conferences, or wait until the end of March.

So, that's it for now.  I hope that my next post will be all about this miracle job that I found.  I have a feeling it will be something like "Nothing much has changed.  Work is stressing me out!"  Hopefully, I can have something upbeat and positive to add in there as well.  Take care!

Holidays...

I have had to do a lot of serious thinking over the last few weeks.  It is interesting what the holidays make you start to consider.  When I first moved to Utah, I had no idea how long I would be teaching and living here.  I sort of planned on 3-5 years.  In three years, I would have cleared my Utah credential; in five years, maybe things would start to look better in California and I could move back.  I had made the decision, this year, that I needed to switch districts.

I wanted to work for the Salt Lake school district.  They pay better and have a better schedule.  I figured that all of this would allow me to go home more frequently and help me not to stress so much about money.  I was looking at other districts as well.  That decision was easy.  I knew that I would be moving somewhere new by the end of this school year.  My rent keeps going up and I needed to make a change.  I thought that making this switch, as well as switching to a younger grade, would refresh my outlook on life here.  I have quickly realized that I was very wrong.

It has always been difficult for me to come back to Utah after a trip home; but I was able to do it.  I was able to cry a little and then get back into my routine.  I have mentioned before that this year has felt different. Something didn't feel right.  I felt like a change needed to be made.  I wasn't sure what that change was.  I started to think about home more and more often.  Kody's death didn't help the situation at all.  I couldn't stand to be away from everything that I knew and loved anymore.  I still continued to look for jobs in Utah (I started to ask my co-workers for recommendation letters); but the thought of California was still in my mind.

I went home for Thanksgiving and had a great time.  We got an extra day and I really enjoyed the time with my family.  Sunday came all to soon and I couldn't believe that I had to go back.  Right before I left, I broke down.  I told my parents that I didn't want to go back.  My dad told me that it was only four weeks until Christmas and then I would be back again.  I told him that I was worried about the time after Christmas; the five months before the summer break.  I really didn't feel like I could do it.  I came back to Utah and tried to get back into the swing of things.  I kept looking forward to my next break.

My trip home for Christmas was just as great.  It was colder than I had been hoping, but way warmer that the below 20 degree weather that I had left behind.  The second day that I was home, I went with parents to pick up their new beagle puppy.  I held him in my arms the whole drive home.  By the end of the drive, we had named him Jack.  He is a 0-60 type of dog.  Meaning, he is either sleeping or acting incredibly hyper and crazy.  I love him already.  He would sleep in my arms a lot.  We heard that beagles were very hard to train, and I think that we all forgot what it was like to really train a puppy.  I think he will get there, he just needs time and patience.

After Thanksgiving, I had decided to apply at a few private schools in California.  I thought that they might have more openings that public schools.  I was able to get an interview with one in Yorba Linda while I was home.  The interview went well, but I was really disappointed with the salary.  It was about $20,000 less than I would make as a fourth year teacher at a public school there.  Not enough to live on my own.  I haven't received an offer yet, but it is still really early in the school year for them to make any decisions; plus I think that they could tell that I wasn't sure about the job.

The break flew by and, before I knew it, I had to fly back to Utah.  I started getting more and more depressed as the day grew closer.  On the day I flew back, I cried even more than I had at Thanksgiving.  I asked my dad for a blessing and we all talked about my different options.  I knew that I had to get back to Southern California no matter what.  My parents drove me to the airport and I cried.  My mom walked me into the airport and I cried.  I swear, I almost turned around and went back.  At the moment, I didn't care about all the crap I had in my apartment in Utah.  I couldn't make myself go back.

When I got home, I asked my family if we could Skype.  I was already sobbing at that point.  They basically sat there and watched me cry uncontrollably.  Sorry about that guys.  There has only been one other time that I have cried so hard and so much, and that was in August when Kody passed away.  For the second time, my eyelids were swollen and it looked like I had been punched in the face on both sides (really attractive by the way).  I knew now, more than ever that looking for jobs in Utah was pointless.  I HAD to get back to California no matter what.  I can't do this anymore.  A lot of people have presented me with "what if" situations.  "What if this happens?  Would you stay?"  I have thought about each possibly seriously and carefully.  the answer is no.  I can't stay here anymore.  If doesn't feel right and I am not happy.  I realize now that I haven't been happy in a really long time.  Not really.

I started to look for more California teaching jobs.  I know most schools won't post until the spring, but I found myself getting really discouraged.  I convinced myself that I was never going to find anything.  The thought in my head was that the timing wouldn't work out, know one would hire me because I can't come in for a bunch of interview because of where I live, and I would be stuck here forever.  My parents presented me with a backup plan.  If I really couldn't find anything, I could live with them and be a sub in a few districts until the market got better.  At least I would be in the area and more available for interviews.  I would have to make enough for rent, gas, insurance, car payments, etc...  I figured that I would have to sub 13-15 days a month to make enough.  If I can sign up with a few districts  I will probably make it.  Once they knew me, I was getting called a lot when I sub there before.  We called this "Plan B;" and I was not allowed to make a decision about while upset.

The more that I though about "Plan B," the calmer I started to feel.  I could go back to California no matter what.  I could keep looking and hoping for a job, but I had a backup plan.  I haven't officially made the decision, but I am pretty sure I know what it will be.  I will continue to look for a job like crazy, and pray that I beat out the 200+ other teachers that are also looking.  I will plan on moving to California this summer, no matter what.  If I don't get hired before I move, I keep hoping to be one of those teachers that gets hired right before the school year starts.  If nothing comes up, I will move back home and do "Plan B."  It feels strange to ask my friends and family to pray for me, but will you anyway.  I know, without a doubt, that I cannot live here anymore.  Please pray that I can get a teaching job in California.  I know that it is what I always pray for.

That being said, I hope that you are all well.  If anyone needs anything, please let me know.  Take care!

Thinking...

A longer post will be coming, that includes all of the details of the Thanksgiving break.  Until then, this will be a really quick update.

Danielle and I drove down to California on Tuesday.  I spent a lot of quality time with my family, ate way too much food, went to the movies, and went to a bachelorette party.  On Sunday, today, I drove back to Utah alone.  It was as I was leaving and making the long drive that I had time to think about the situation that I have in Utah.  Again, more explanation will be given in my next post.  To make along story short, I am not happy with life right now.  I don't feel like there is anything holding me here.  It takes me a long time to make real friends, and then they end up leaving.  I have no family here.  I was already planning on looking for a new job.  Unless something changes dramatically, this will continue to be the way that I feel while living here in Utah.

I am starting to make some decisions.  I just wish I knew where they would lead.  What I am hoping and praying for is either a job in the Salt Lake School District (where I wold be making more, and could maybe afford to fly home more often), or find a job (teaching or non-teaching) in Southern California.  The thing that depresses me the most is that I don't see how that last option will happen.  I haven't heard about teaching opening up in California and if I got a different type of job, I would need to make enough to live on my own.  One of my co-workers put it best "I have educated myself into a corner."  What else can I do?

More to come later.

Visits...

I had been trying to post once a week.  So, much for that.  Life just started to get too busy during the last few weeks.  I knew that they were going to be crazy and that I would be okay if I could just survive them.  It started with parent-teacher conferences, which went fine.  The problem is that the conferences are stressful and time consuming.  After a long day of work, it is difficult to stay 5 extra hours each night.  It is a good thing that it only happens twice a year.  The next week I had a DART meeting and ALPS testing.  They made us dance around and play weird instruments for the DART meeting.  It was very embarrassing!  I just keep telling myself that the little bit of extra money I will get is worth it.  We will see...

The ALPS testing is what took the longest.  We had an hour long meeting on Wednesday to sort of get trained.  On Thursday, I rushed over to the testing location to set up.  I was lucky enough to be partnered with one of my co-workers (a 2nd grade teacher, who I happen to be friends with).  The testing seemed to go okay that first day.  We were testing second graders to see if they were qualified to enter the program  when they went into third grade.  We had one kid who was VERY disruptive.  We dealt with it...mostly.  I was really worried about getting out on time, because my sister was flying in at 7 pm.  She ended up having to wait for me for a bit.  In the end, it all worked out and we didn't have any issues.

That night, we went out to "Noodles & Company."  It turns out their food is better if you eat it there, and not take it home.  Lesson learned.  We hung out a talked for a while (at my apartment), and then I got ready for the next day.  After work, I headed back to do more testing.  This day was more challenging.  The first part went fine.  Our troublesome student had to be tested separately, by someone else, that day because he was keeping the other students from completing their tests.  The hardest part was the survey at the end.  There were over 60 questions and each one, and the answer choices, had to be read aloud.  It took forever!  The kids were so done by the end of it.  I headed back home to hang out with my sister.  She had made dinner and some really good cookies.

The next day, Saturday, was the last day of testing.  We were scheduled to be there from 7:30-11:00 (the test was from 8:00-10:30).  I showed up at 7:15 and started getting things ready.  This test had 6 sections with 24 questions in each section.  Each question, and its choices, had to be read aloud.  We had to wait for each student to choose an answer before we moved to a new question.  We tried to give the kids a break between sessions.  This test took forever!  The kids kept asking when it would be over.  The test took even longer than they had it scheduled to take; like 40 minutes longer!  We didn't finished until 11:10.  Then Kerri and I had to stay to "clean up" then answer sheets.  We just had to make sure bubbles were filled in all of the way and that there went any extra pencil marks.  We got out of there at noon.  I headed home to pick up Danielle.

We went to a Thai place for lunch and got way too much food.  Then we headed to the theater and saw the new "Twilight" movie.  It was okay.  It was about the same level as the other ones.  After that, we couldn't figure out what to do, so we decided to explore West Jordan a little.  We walked around "Gardner Village." Then we went to the "District" and visited some of the shops there.  We went to the store and got a few groceries and then got ice cream from Cold Stone.  We went back to my apartment,ate dinner, played some games on the Wii, and watched part of a movie.  It was that point that I was too exhausted to think, so we called it a night.

On Sunday (today), we watched some of my DVDs and some Netflix.  I wasn't feeling that great, so it was sort of a lazy day.  We did set up my Christmas tree.  I decided that since we were leaving before Thanksgiving, I would start setting up for Christmas early.  By the time I get back to town, most people will have started putting Christmas stuff up.  This will save me some time.  Plus, it is always more fun to decorate with other people.  I wanted to do more decorating, but I don't have that much stuff and I am still feeling a lack of energy due to whatever illness I have today.  :(

Tomorrow will be more work.  I will probably pick up Danielle and then we will try to explore the city some more.  We also plan to get some stuff for the long drive ahead of us.  After that it will be packing time.  On Tuesday, she will come to work with me and we will start our drive right after the school day ends.  I am really hoping that we can just drive straight there.  I don't want to drag it out.  I plan on seeing how we will once we get near St. George.  We might have to stop for the night.  We will see.  I am so ready for the holidays.  I can't wait to get through these last two days!

I don't know when I will post again.  Hopefully soon, but you know how life is sometimes.  I hope everyone has fun plans for the holidays and that you all stay safe.  Take care!

Stress, Craziness, and Broken Laptops...

Last week was the beginning of the three weeks of crazy that I had been dreading.  Ask any teacher and they will tell you how much they hate Halloween.  It is funny, because I used to love Halloween when I was younger.  Now I dread it.  The kids are crazy the whole week.  Then Halloween comes and that craziness doubles.  We had a Halloween parade at our school, then each class had its own party.  I got lucky this year.  I have a parent who planned and ran the whole things.  The funniest part of the party was the fact that we had a lot parent helping.  

I had never met most of this parents before and they were meeting me for the first time on Halloween.  I was also dressed as Lucy from "I Love Lucy."  So, it was just kind of weird to met them for the first time in a costume.  I knew it would be crazy that day, so I thought it went well.  This year it was a littler weird, the kids  (while still crazy) were actually better on Halloween than they were on the day after.  The day after Halloween they were full on hyper.  Every time they went out to recess they would be eating another piece of candy.

This next week, I am dreading for a whole other reason.  We have parent-teacher conferences this week.  Can you tell how excited I am?  Conferences are on Wednesday from 3:30 pm-8:00 pm, and on Thursday from 2:00 pm-6:00 pm.  Then, we get Friday off as a compensation for working the extra hours.  Conferences are really stressful and I am always glad to have them done and over with.  So, all of the teachers are going crazy trying to get grades in, reading tests done, and trying to gets report cards printed and sent home.  To add to all of the stress, fourth grade is in charge of cleaning the faculty room for the month of November and we have bus duty next week.  Fun.

The final week of craziness is the week before Thanksgiving.  I am on the DART (district art) committee and I have a meeting on Tuesday.  Then I signed up to help test for ALPS (it is like an advanced placement program) this week.  There is a meeting on Wednesday for an hour.  Then testing in on Thursday and Friday night, and on Saturday morning.  On Thursday night, my sister is flying into town.  So, I will have to rush from the testing session and hurry to the airport to pick her up.  This week I also got some more news.  I was asked to help organize and run our school science fairs (there are two of them) around March.  All of the teacher were also told that they need to plan for three 1/2 day subs during the week before Thanksgiving so we can have balanced literacy training as a team.  Sub plans are hard to write and we were all trying to figure out a way to avoid having subs teach the new math program, because it is so complicated!

Once I get passed these next few weeks, I am hoping things get a little easier.  Danielle and I are driving to California right after school on Tuesday, the week of Thanksgiving.  I found this really great price on a Jet Blue flight, plus I had a credit from a previous flight.  It made the price even cheaper.  I am glad that she will be able to drive down with me.  I hate that long drive and having someone with me will really help.  I am not as worried about the trip back, because I can leave earlier in the day.  I just hope that I have good weather along the way.  I keep hearing rumors that, because of the really dry winter that we had last year, this year will be really bad.   A girl at Walmart told me that she heard that we were supposed to get more snow than we had in the last ten years.  :(

In other news, I had to buy a new laptop this week.  I have been having a few issues with my laptop lately.  Mostly with my power cord.  Power cords are really expensive and you never how long they are going to last.  My dad has already tried to fix my cord, but nothing really sticks.  I have also gotten the "blue screen of death" a few times and had a feeling that one day it would totally die and I would lose all of my stuff.  I was hoping to get a few more years out of my computer, but what can you do.  I have had my laptop for about five year, which is longer than a lot of laptops last.  My dad had also been telling me that it might be time to get a new one for awhile now.  So, I found this really good deal at Walmart.  I, of course, called my dad to talk about brands, prices, and performance.  Those of you who know me, know how long it takes me to make big decisions.  So, when I made the decision to get the laptop, I needed to get it before I talked myself out of it.  There was another guy ahead of me that asked about the same laptop.  We were told they didn't have it in stock, it wasn't in the warehouse, and they had no idea when they were getting more.  Crap!

I went to a few other stores trying to find the laptop, but no one had one.  So, I went home and tried to find the laptop online.  I looked everywhere and could find no record of it anywhere.  At work the next day, I took some time and tried to make some calls to other Walmarts in the area to see if they had.  I only had to make two calls before I found a close store that had two in stock.  I asked if the could hold it for me; but they told me that they could only hold things for an hour.  I broke out my sob story of how I am a teacher and I can't leave until a certain time because I am trying to teach my fourth graders.  They gave me special person to put in on hold until I could get there.  After work, I hurried to the store and asked for it.  They got it from the back and I bought it with my credit card (which I hate using, but I considered this a financial emergency).  

When I got the thing back home, I discovered that it had the new Windows 8 (this was part of the reason that I had a hard time finding the laptop--they had just released it this week).  So far, I do not like Windows 8.  It is like they tried to take the app features from tablets and put it on a computer.  It is a little frustrating.  I feel like I can't find anything!  My dad sent my a link to "Windows 8 for Dummies."  I am choosing not feel insulted.  I plan on reading it as soon as I can.  Hopefully, that can take away some of that frustration.  I forgot how long it takes to get a new laptop ready to use.  I have moved some of my important things over, but I still have a ton of stuff to switch over.  Thank goodness I got a new computer before my old one completely died.  It makes the process a little easier.  

I think that is all of my news.  Other than the fact that I came really close to be in a very bad car accident this week.  I was driving on a main road by my apartment.  This lady was trying to turn onto the road from side street.  She didn't even look when she made the turn.  If I hadn't swerved into the other lane she would have slammed into the middle of my car.  I was so lucky that there were no cars next to me; that isn't usually the case of that street.  It is normal very full of cars.  She didn't even notice what she had almost done.  I honked at her.  She didn't even look up.  I get that mistakes happen.  People drive in autopilot and things happen.  People should at least acknowledge their mistakes.  

Okay, that's it.  I hope everyone else is under a little less stress.  Take care and I hope all of you make it through the holidays in one piece!